Blind Man's Bluff
by youthere
Summary: A collection of Winchester centered drabbles. Spoilers for anything aired.
1. Vertigo

**Blind Man's Bluff**

**Spoilers** for anything aired. The magic **C** belongs to **Kripke. ****This goes** for all future chapters

**AN** Okay, I said I was taking a fanfic break.... Well, not so much :)

As I watch the series progress (and rewatch old eps), little drabbles keep randomly popping up. So I decided to create this "story" to post them all in the same place, because (and yes, I know this is nuts) sprinkling them around randomly as independent stories is just so.... untidy :-/

**X**

**Vertigo**

_You're holding me back._

Every day, he can hear it. The quiet, expectant hum of the abyss.

Like the low echo you hear when you stand on the edge of a cliff or the rails of a bridge, and you know there's nothing more below you than in the wide skies above. When up and down become irrelevant, because you'd fall just as far in either direction.

_You're holding me back._

Dean could almost laugh, remembering the words. They are standing on the edge of perdition and he's holding Sam back.

Good to know you're doing _something_ right.


	2. Reaching for the Moon

**Reaching for the Moon.  
**  
He feels like an idiot just thinking it. Which, perversely, is probably why he says it.

He needs it to be actual sounds, real words. Like that could somehow challenge the impossibility of it, divert this collision course he's on.  
Like the words could bend reality, counteract it like some hoodoo spell. Or a prayer.

So he glues his gaze on the front windshield, clenches his fists, and hopes that, just this once, Ruby will keep any smart ass comments to herself.  
He says it slower than he has to, clearer. Staring straight ahead through the rain.

"...when I'm an old man."

X

**AN** So, Sam said those words at the end of Chris Angel... and all I could think was "Huh. Presume much?"


	3. You Break It

**Set after** 416. **I have not acquired** the copyright since my last post.

X

**You break it...**

He's surprised by his own disappointment. He should know already, he isn't the hero here.

He doesn't have a mission from God.

He's surprised at himself for forgetting. How he fails. How he screws up. How he was never supposed to be anything other than a hunter and a hustler and a one night stand.

What he does have is a stranger in his brother's place, a father dead in his own place and, apparently, a talent for torture.

He should have known they only needed him to fix what he broke in the first place.

X

**AN** I feel like I have to add another disclaimer down here. Something along the lines of: all character's self bashing is solely their own responsibility. Meaning, I don't think those things about them, but I'm pretty sure they do...

Apparently, I don't need to be mean to Dean. He does it all by himself.


	4. Respite

**Respite**

It's not a banishing of the blank expressions and the sidelong glances. The lies, the half truths and the utter mistrust.

It's not an unraveling of the tangled mess they've spun between them. Every movement out of sync, every quip slightly wrong, every question loaded.

It's not a truce or a peace offering. Not a declaration of loyalty.

But they're too tired, tonight, to read the silence or shape it. Content to leave the cracks gaping. Just two men and a bottle.

And although silence was never their friend before, it seems to be their savior now.

**AN** Does anybody know if it's possible to merge published stories on this site? It's driving me _**insane**_ to have "The more I can change" rattling around by itself, when it really belongs in with this lot (yes, we've already established I'm obsessive), but if I add it here and delete the original post, I'll have to delete all your lovely reviews to...and, just... no! They're mine! *clutches her precious gems*


	5. Ask and Thou Shalt Receive

X

Sam always said that Dean didn't ask for enough. That this was his problem.

But Dean does ask for things.

He asked for his brother back and Jessica went up in flames. He asked for a normal home and Ban and Lisa nearly died.

And he asked to be shown what Hell had really done to Sam.

His fingers brush over Sammy's face. His brother is nearly catatonic now, exhausted – finally - from his screaming. A small smudge of blood where he banged his head against the wall.

Dean does ask for things. That, right there, is his problem.

X

**A/N **Yup, I _am _still alive! This might be a good time to mention that disappearing acts are kinda my specialty... Didn't stop loving our favorite brothers, though- or my fellow ffers!


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